Today on World Maternal Mental Health Day #StrongerTogether, Preya shares her story.
“I am 42 years old and a mother of two, living in Wandsworth. My children are dual heritage under 4’s half Indian and half White English, and my partner and I relocated to London from the Midlands when I was 8 months pregnant with my first.
I’d been broody since I was 18, so to find out I was pregnant was a dream come true, until it wasn’t. Signed off from work with stress before I’d even moved down to London, a parent who refused to speak to me, (pregnancy before marriage was not part of her master plan) and the loss of all social and familial networks left me lost, alone and as I found out later waist deep in pre-natal depression.
My thoughts spiralled from overwhelm to despair, miserable to mystified. Why are other
pregnant women able to ‘just get on with it?’ which (once my baby was here) was closely
followed by ‘How is that mum looking so together and happy?’
I reached out to my doctor but after the second time they dismissed me, I made sure I found a better surgery that would listen. It was my persistence in calling and reaching out for help that started to turn things around for me. I’m thankful my maternal survival instinct was kicking in.
Finally, I felt seen and heard by a nurse who saw me for my check up and things started to change after a midwife at St. George’s hospital referred me to Home-Start Wandsworth.
Without Home Start Wandsworth and their volunteer friendship service, and counselling from Cedar House Support group, a local PND charity, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I had a meeting with my local Home-Start Coordinator who explained the process and took time to listen to my needs. My Home-Start volunteer, Adele was an angel sent to me; I would always look forward to her weekly visits. From keeping me company on my first tube ride with my newborn in a pram, to holding the baby whilst I had my first shower in days. Her non-judgemental, practical, and emotional support got me though some very tough experiences when my first child arrived.
My volunteer helped me feel like a human again which my post-natal depression and traumatic birth took away. I valued Adele’s nature, which felt so aligned and matched to my own, thanks to my Coordinator.
One of the biggest gifts Adele gave me was space to develop love for my child by holding me emotionally as a mother. She gave me hope, conversation and flowers and encouraged me to join Home-Start’s group activity programme.
Home-Start’s support resulted in my child having a better-resourced mother, comfort, trips to Kew Gardens, but most importantly an abundance of smiles, when my stores were empty in those early days.
Thank you, Adele, thank you Home-Start Wandsworth. You helped me find my way through the rollercoaster ride of early motherhood.”
